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Laura says

I know all of this to be true and have for some time. I’m abundantly aware all of my insecurities, limiting beliefs, etc. I have been working on it for well over 6 years. But I still have not figured out how to get out from under it. And even if I do have to fix it before I can meet someone, how many decades will that take and will I even be alive to reap the rewards? I mean we have all been hurt a lot, especially the older we are. How do we heal every crack and crevice to somehow finally become worthy of a relationship? I’m 50 and if I live to be 80 I still won’t have figured it out.

Meg says

It’s almost as though…I nned to take things like this in slow motion….realize that when I’m about to strike up a conversation or think someone is is at that very moment also wake up and be in the present and be very clear about understanding my past and feel it in my bones…not sure quite how to say it..but this is the thoughts that come to me…changes everything when I know what I’m thinking and feeling even with the past and how much this influences all of this…

Madeleine says

I’m no expert – far from it, cough .. but I wouldn’t recommend trying to work it out alone too much; being with a new partner is often a good way to come through these fears.

Whatever says

if you can find the appropriate partner…I thought I was doing that with the last guy who is even a counselor, but inappropriate because of long distance and financially not well.

Anyways, turned out that I just re- traumatized myself when he rattled off all the things wrong with me at the end when he got triggered. So, what was supposed to be healing felt like the same old same old. I allowed myself to feel bad and I am tired of it, plus it couldn’t work because of the distance for sure.

So, very important who you do this work with.

Absolutely correct.

Nadyoshh says

​When you fail to achieve your objectives, it is easy to believe that you do not have the ability, or you are not good enough. However, the difference between success and failure is rarely due to any lasting ability. Sure, you may lack the necessary skills at that very moment, but you can usually learn everything that you need to know. The biggest factor in determining your level of success is often your self-confidence. As Henry Ford said . Self-confidence is that important. If you want to achieve your goals and objectives, you absolutely must have enough self-confidence to see the job through. As the size of your goals and ambition grows, your level of must grow to match it.


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Self-confidence requires effort

You probably know someone who just exudes confidence. You might even have wondered, ' The good news is that you, too, could be that confident. Self-confidence does not happen by accident.

It comes from repeated practice and small successes which build into large successes. With the right commitment and effort, you can build your self-confidence in a short period of time and, as you continue with the positive habits, your self-confidence will continue to grow.

Self-confidence is not some sort of gift that you are born with. For many people, self-confidence may appear to have come naturally to them but it is more likely that they had confident role models in their life, from whom they learned the appropriate confidence building behaviours.

These people will have imitated the behaviour they saw from their role models and, they habitually do them now. By practicing these same actions, you’ll be taking giant strides to building your own self-confidence.

11 Simple strategies to build self-confidence

​The strategies listed below are very easy to implement and lead to rapid growth in your self-confidence levels. Use these strategies to become more self-assured:

1. Present yourself with confidence

If you are lounging around at home with your family or friends, it may be acceptable to dress down and be a little unkempt. These people know who you really are and your appearance is unlikely to have a huge bearing on their thoughts about you.

However, how you feel about yourself is reflected in your appearance. If you have an important event e.g. an interview or business meeting; taking the time to ensure that you are well groomed and wearing clean, well-fitting and appropriate clothing, will give you that .

When you know you look great, you feel great about yourself as well. That little bit of effort goes a long way and, as you notice the difference, you will bring this new approach into more areas of your life.

As I am working from home, I often work in more casual clothing, unless I am having an online coaching session with a client. I am more concerned about the quality off the work than my appearance.

But when I have something more challenging to do, I like to dress a little better. It is not about trying to impress others. It just gives me a little bit of a confidence boost. I feel more prepared and focused on the challenge ahead. It’s like I am saying to the challenge:

We often think that dressing better is about impressing others. For some people it may be. But the real benefit is what you are communicating to yourself.

‘You are going to test me, but you are going to get the best I have and, I know I can beat you’
Canada is our stage.
Canada is our stage.